Reignited

So yesterday I went to a work seminar and listened to an amazing speaker for 9 hours. Yes 9 hours. And it was the greatest thing I have ever sat through. I had the privilege to sit in a room with Jen Planck and listen to her story and take her teachings on being a better leader in my salon. She also taught me something I never thought of: self worth.

I know it sounds stupid. "How have you never thought of your own self worth?" Well because part of the depression is that you're fighting with your own brain every single day. Your brain is telling you "you're worthless, you're ugly, you're stupid" etc. But what Jen did was amazing.

She took a $20 and asked the room who wanted it. It was a fresh, clean, crisp $20. Who wouldn't want that? She picked someone to give it to and then she crumpled it up, stomped on it, spit on it and ripped it slightly. She then asked, "do you still want it?" The stylist said "Yes. It's still $20." To which Jen replied, "exactly. No matter how broken and beaten down you are. No matter what life throws at you, you are still worth exactly the same as you were when you started."

And that resonated with me. Because I am broken. I am beaten down. I have lost my fight and my drive and my spirit. But I'm still worth everything I was when I started. I'm still worthy of love. I'm still worthy of happiness. I am still worthy. And so are you.

You may think that no one would ever want you this way. Or that you're never going to be good enough. Or why can't things just be easier? I'm here to tell you it gets better. You are still worthy. You're worth the same now that you were then. And you are loved. You are valued. You are cherished. And if you think no one cares, I do. I care. I'm so proud of you and how far you've come. I know you have a long way to go but I'm here for you and you can do it. I love you and I have faith in you.

I found my spark again. I found my light and I'm going to shine like a diamond. Because I'm worth it.

Thanks for reading. I know this was a short one but I'm working hard to reinvent myself and that's taking a lot of my free time. It's not a bad thing though. I love who I am becoming because I'm fighting like hell to become her. <3